|
|||||
|
CHILL FACTOR Reviewed by c johnson Brutality comes in many forms and darkness grows in the hearts of men during times of chaos. Torturous nightmare visions extend from the coldest parts of our souls. Man, has The Cube (Cuba Gooding, Jr.) been through the Hollywood A-list meatgrinder machine or what? The guy got his start in "Coming to America" with none-other than THE COMEDY ANIMAL/VETERAN Eddie "The Murph" Murphy (donkey in Shrek) and an Oscar for "Jerry McGuire" (total white magic, mayonaise-style, haven't seen it). Anybody want to take acid and watch "Radio" with me? Now comes his mid-career "Thrillvomitomedy" - sweet jesus, have you seen Chill Factor? Cube is on FIRE! I was really stretched out, ate way too much and loe and behold UPN's Friday Night Movie (which basically refuses to not hook me up, so Fridays are now out of the question) is none other then the CHILL FACTOR. YES. Let's get this started: American zealot military-man is working on an island with a military doctor on a new weapon of mass destruction. This wmd is a liquid that explodes and causes waves of destruction - WHEN IT REACHES A TEMPERATURE OVER 50 DEGREES. Get it - Chiiiiiiiill Factor. Fine. Key moment in the first half-hour: experiment, liquid gets warm, starts exploding, a guy sees this, jumps into a jeep to outrace the explosion! He practically makes it but stays on the front of the wave of the destruction, so basically his hair and clothes burn off, turning him zombie-style walking around. Yup - where the hell is Cube? Oh, he's driving a stolen ice cream truck. When the military-man turns into a terrorist, it's up to Cube to find the weapon and keep it in the truck. Basically, freak-out and run around doing crazy shit like "YOU DIDN'T TELL ME I WAS GOING TO HAVE TO DRIVE AROUND WITH A BOMB IN MY ICE CREAM TRUCK!!". Cube, meet the machine. Machine meet the cube. Key scene in second half: fishing lure made out of wood and rope keeping bomb sort of above water (not in) which keeps it cool and not explode - yeah, no idea, but absolutely crucial. All right, the Army finds out and the REAL comedy starts - US Army chasing terrorists chasing Cube. No problem. Snow Dogs this isn't, but you gotta be ready for a fight anywhere, anytime. Be prepared - this is way better than the cub scouts and more like the webelos. I will attack anyone at any time. If that sounds like a threat take a second and prepare. |
|||||